I have not allowed all this insanity to control my weekend or prevent me from enjoying it. My daughter will be home in a while and we will have the have the discussion about her not coming by to pick things up when we are not home. I sort of feel if I were dealing... Continue Reading →
Received a Letter from the School
I received a rather interesting letter from my daughter's school today regarding the complaints I had made. School Web of Deception The letter basically says that since my daughter is no longer a student their district they cannot hear any formal complaints. They have closed all complaints regarding my daughter. They CCd all the people... Continue Reading →
Resources – Signs of Abuse in Relationships
There are so many resources and books that can help you discover if you are in a domestic abuse relationship. I use to believe it was not abuse because he did not hit me. The truth is, he never had to, the verbal abuse was giving me internal scars. This website, Warning Signs of Abusive... Continue Reading →
The School Responds and Dismissed Everything
This post is a continuation from the post The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It regarding the school situation and the multiple violations of my rights as a parent and their school policies. Obviously this started by my abusive ex-husband's wife transferring to my daughters school last year. I work so hard to try to... Continue Reading →
How Did I Meet The Abuser – 4
After moving into this apartment I eventually grew tired of the controlling behavior. He would also become extremely belligerent when he drank. I broke up with him and moved out into my own apartment and felt very peaceful. The problem was I was lonely... at that time I was not comfortable being alone. After dating... Continue Reading →
The Key is to Respond not React
Last night I had a very strange dream about my ex-husband. I have these dreams from time to time. In the dream he is trying to get along with me. In my dream I am unable to communicate with him even in that state. It is nearly impossible to communicate with an abuser. I am... Continue Reading →
Keeping Children Out of the Middle
One of the greatest challenges I have is trying to keep my daughter out of the middle of this unhealthy behavior. I was doing a better job with it before the school staff came into the mix. Allowing my daughter to view her father through her own eyes and not mine. I know she really has to develop... Continue Reading →
Validation – I am not Crazy!
First I want to say I was listing to Joyce Meyer (she was a victim of abuse) this morning and her message was simple. It said it was not our circumstances that cause our grief, but our reactions to the circumstances. I absolutely agree. No matter what my ex-husband puts on me I need to... Continue Reading →
How Did I Meet The Abuser – 3
We spent about 5 years dating in our very unhealthy relationship. He really liked to drink a lot and he would have bartender friends in every bar and restaurant we went to. They would give him double shot drinks and he would tip them well. If that wasn't a sign of alcoholism I do not... Continue Reading →
FEAR – False Emotionals Appearing Real
Regaining my personal power and strength sometimes requires me to fall down. I have to use the power of positive thinking to get to realizing I am not still in it and I will not allow this to control my life. I will enjoy my life whether my abuser is controlling or not. I will... Continue Reading →
The Drama Continues and My Daughter Saw It
Today was a pretty relaxing day, after releasing my emotions about all these things I have no control over, and turning them over I feel a huge weight off my shoulders. I had a enjoyable day at work. After school my daughter called me and I could tell right away something happened at school by... Continue Reading →
What a Tangled Web They Weave
So I had a meeting with the principal of my daughter's school yesterday. We spoke our issues with the school and then the day kind of went from good to bad pretty quickly. In the late afternoon I was giving my daughter a spelling test and I am not sure what triggered her memory. So instead of having... Continue Reading →
How Did I Meet The Abuser – 2
So it is strange because I am posting this in order but it will appear backwards to anyone reading this. Okay so I met him and thought he was pretty special. The real problem was that I did not think I was special. Things seemed okay at first, I thought. (personal low self esteem issue)... Continue Reading →
How Did I Meet The Abuser
I thought I would jump back into the past a little and tell you how I met this man who I am now divorced from. I guess to tell you that story I might have to go back a little further. I was very attractive when I was younger but the problem was I never... Continue Reading →
Join Custody with a Jerk
No, this isn't something off Jerry Springer, but it is my life at times. I realized I am in the middle of some drama again and so I felt it was time to take some action. So I started reading 'Joint Custody With a Jerk' which I had read a few years ago. In the... Continue Reading →
Countering Fear by Staying in the Present
Fear TriggerSo I am at work today doing my job when I get this call from my daughter's pediatrician. She doesn't usually call me out of the blue like that. So she informs me that my ex-husband called requesting the documents for the ADD from her. Since in over eight years she had never heard... Continue Reading →
Choose to Forget or Remember the Past
There is a constant struggle to forget the past because I do not not want to remember the bad times. Memory Triggers I still have to deal with my ex-husband and that seems to trigger memories, especially with his constant need to control situations. Right now there is some weird stuff that is occurring that is triggering those old feelings. There are not very many good times to remember and believe me I have tried to find some to cling on to. In truth right now, he is just a tiny blip on the radar, other than his occasional interference he really isn't a part of my life anymore. I can focus on today and be so grateful to not be there and the strength that gained in return. I often feel if I could make it through all that there is truly nothing I can't endure today. Although I can't remember very many good things about him I go through all that hell over again if only to have my daughter here today.
The Abuser’s Continuous Manipulation
Feeling a bit frustrated with the ongoing manipulation from my abusive ex. It's astonishing how he skillfully presents an image that deceives people into thinking he's a caring individual – hence the inspiration for creating this website. The current issue revolves around my daughter's school. Last year, my ex-husband's live-in girlfriend, who caused quite a... Continue Reading →
Verbal Abuse and the Internal Scars
I am going to start with today and jump around because I would like to create a balance of positive with the negative effects of verbal abuse.
At this time my greatest challenge is trying to keep my daughter out of being in the middle. My ex constantly is asking her questions about my husband and I. It took me the longest time to figure out what was going on with my daughter. He was very manipulative and would say things... without really saying things. For instance, he wouldn't say I was a bad mom, he would say "Your mom is going to get mad at you" or "You are going to get in trouble with your mom." He wasn't asking her if she wanted to come live with him, he would say "Wouldn't it be great if you got to live with me all the time."
Is This Abusive 