Verbal Abuse Recovery
Here’s a strong excerpt that fits the article well: What happens when a place that should remain neutral becomes part of a high-conflict family dynamic? Looking back at events I documented while my daughter was in elementary school, I explore blurred boundaries, school involvement, manipulation, triangulation, and what I understand differently now about protecting children from adult conflict.
Gaslighting can slowly make you question your memory, instincts, and even your own sense of reality. In this personal reflection, I look at how repeated denial, blame, and distorted versions of events affected my ability to trust myself, and how documenting what happened became part of finding my way back to my own voice.
Abuse does not always begin with something obvious. Subtle patterns of control, criticism, intimidation, isolation, and manipulation can build slowly over time. This article looks at warning signs that may be easy to dismiss individually, but deserve attention when several begin appearing together.
When I look back through the women in my family, one thing becomes very clear to me: abuse did not suddenly appear in my generation. What changed was our ability to recognize it, name it, talk about it, and eventually do something about it. My grandmother lived in a time when a woman could have... Continue Reading →
There is a particular kind of conflict that feels especially unsettling. It happens when someone finally tells you they have been upset with you for a very long time, not a few days or a few weeks, but months, maybe even a year. Suddenly, you realize there has apparently been a running list of things... Continue Reading →
Recently I have been binge watching The Handmaid's Tale. I must say this is probably not the best show to binge watch because it is tale of a very dark totalitarian society. Nearly every episode is dark, disturbing, and rather abusive. However, there are may parallels between the abuse of power displayed and what life... Continue Reading →
So, last month I received a $2,000 bill from my abusive ex-husbands wife. This bill was sent the day after my daughter had dental surgery and had 6 teeth pulled. They are supposed to notify me of any non-emergency surgeries before the event and not after the event. In email, she implies that their attorney was... Continue Reading →
I have mentioned this before that my father is mentally ill. For this reason, I have a difficult time blaming him for his insults. However, how many times do we allow an abusive person to keep abusing us before we say, "No more!"? They say he has Schizoaffective Disorder which means he fits into one... Continue Reading →
In my previous post Power Over and the Abuser, I wrote about trying to pick my daughter up for the weekend visitation. I had planned on taking her for coffee or sushi and then taking her back home. However, nobody answered the door when I rang the doorbell. On Friday, I had decided to send... Continue Reading →
I had always been trying to understand what happened and why I continued to date my ex-husband for all those years. I thought he was so amazing when I met him. It is true that my inner voice was screaming that there was something wrong. He did everything this video describes, blaming me and my... Continue Reading →
As you know, hindsight is 20/20 and after dealing with an abusive man for more than twenty years there are decisions I wish I could go back and change. Obviously, we are unable to go back and change anything that has happened in the past. Knowing what I know now, I realize some decisions would... Continue Reading →
I have begun writing a book because there must be a reason for this journey. Perhaps my book can help someone understand they are not alone and can help them validate their experience. Maybe a book will help someone avoid a few minutes or learn a few lessons quicker. This book will dig deeper into... Continue Reading →
This is a story of domestic abuse and how it often runs in families. The cycle of abuse is a tough one to break unless you begin to understand the facts about abuse. Domestic abuse has more than one face and can affect you in many ways, including unknowingly teaching your children, by example, to... Continue Reading →
Our daughter is now sixteen years old, and she now has a best friend and to my dismay a boyfriend. Due to the abusive nature of my relationship with my ex-husband I have really to talk to him a little as possible. I have found this is a healthier approach for everyone, especially our daughter. Unfortunately, our daughter had to miss a lot of birthday parties, school field trips, and even Disneyland because they fell on his weekend. Now that she is older, she doesn't want to miss all those weekend activities, and she has started negotiated visiting time with him directly.
Hard to believe it was 9 years ago when I made the difficult decision to get divorced from my verbally abusive husband. Although there were so many things wrong with the relationships, it was a very difficult decision to make. My relationship with my ex-husband as very one-sided and I always felt drained with him.... Continue Reading →
The effects of verbal abuse can cause physical symptoms that can become emotional scars that can last a lifetime if they are not dealt with. It can be very difficult to figure out that you are in a verbally abusive relationship and even more difficult to prove in the court of law. That is not... Continue Reading →
The myths Society paints about Domestic Abuse truly prevent awareness about emotional & psychological abuse and make it very difficult to spot. Society really paints a picture of Domestic Abuse involving physical abuse or violence. When I talked to a lawyer one time the first question they asked me was, "Has he ever hit you?"... Continue Reading →
One of the biggest questions I have always asked is, "Am I crazy?" When I am dealing with my abusive ex-husband or my abusive father, at times they have both made me feel crazy. Whenever I allowed myself to lose my temper and react terribly to their behavior has been equally as frustrating. My personal... Continue Reading →
It took me more than 10 years to figure out I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my ex-husband. The trouble is that society often paints a picture of abuse as being physical not verbal, emotional, economic or sexual. During my marriage I remember thinking, "If he ever hits me, I am leaving." However,... Continue Reading →
One of my biggest concerns is my daughter will grow up and marry an abuser herself. All I can really do is teach her the facts and perhaps inform her of the warning signs. After all there were early warning signs in our relationship, when we were dating, which I missed or chose to ignore. ... Continue Reading →
You can read the first posts I made from March & April 2003 on this page Abusive Experience - Journal Entries 1. I had many sporadic entries throughout the last few years of our marriage. I think I was always worried he would read the journal entries. These journal entries were made after I had figured out he had a problem... Continue Reading →
