The other day I was spending time working on my craft and this song came into rotation. For some reason, this song captured my heart right away. After a moment, I realized what she was singing about it brought tears to my eyes. This song was talking about a love triangle between divorced parents. The artist is singing about divorce and how it impacts children. This song made me think about my daughter.
Last week, my daughter told me she wants to come by on Sunday to see me for Mother's Day, but she is not allowed to drive his car to the city where I live again. It is extremely frustrating to me that we are still having these types of conversations when our daughter is 20 years old. This is crazy controlling and she is still not ready or able to challenge him yet.
One of the biggest lessons I learned throughout this entire experience is it is impossible to co-parent with a narcissist or abusive person. Whether you Ex is a woman or man, if they are a narcissist, there is no such thing as cooperation. It frustrates me that he gets as much attention as he does.... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I posted an email string between my ex-husband, his wife, and myself. The last email I received was a personal attack by my ex-husband. Although I did not respond to his email, his comments have been ringing in my head for the past 24 hours. Obviously, this is the narcissist's goal, keeping you off-balanced...... Continue Reading →
So, last month I received a $2,000 bill from my abusive ex-husbands wife. This bill was sent the day after my daughter had dental surgery and had 6 teeth pulled. They are supposed to notify me of any non-emergency surgeries before the event and not after the event. In email, she implies that their attorney was... Continue Reading →
My mother was visiting this week and things just weren't the same without my daughter. Normally, my daughter would be here and happily participating in all activities. This year, my mother and I had three short visits with her instead. My daughter has stated that she does not want to see my husband or his... Continue Reading →
The other day, I realized something really significant about this entire situation with my ex-husband and daughter. The time I spent with my ex-husband was really not very good. There are not many good memories to dwell on about him. In fact, most of the time things were pretty bad, sometimes okay, but never really... Continue Reading →
This made up narrative by my abusive ex-husband on how I was the problem just upsets me. Today, we are boxing up books for a room remodel and just listen to these titles of books collected over the years: Why Does He Do That Toxic Parents Abuse No More Joint Custody with a Jerk Your... Continue Reading →
Okay, right now there is a situation that is outside my control. Although I have no desire to be in control, although with that being said... I really don't like the feeling of being out of control either. This is clearly a Power Over situation for my ex-husband and he has all the control and I... Continue Reading →
My daughter visited me this weekend and things didn't go as I expected they would. Perhaps this was too soon for her to come home to visit. Right now, my daughter sees me as the bad guy and she is especially mad at my husband. Plus, we had to deal with three months of hateful... Continue Reading →
As you know, hindsight is 20/20 and after dealing with an abusive man for more than twenty years there are decisions I wish I could go back and change. Obviously, we are unable to go back and change anything that has happened in the past. Knowing what I know now, I realize some decisions would... Continue Reading →
It is easy to excuse games the Narcissist plays as potential 'oversights', however past behavior really predicts present and future behavior. Time to rise above the games. Time to think 'game over'. So, it has been one week since my daughter left to live with her father. This week has been full of sadness, relief,... Continue Reading →
Today, I feel rather sad and it is difficult to write when I feel sad. Yesterday, I watched my seventeen year old get into the car with my narcissist ex-husband to go live with him. Everything about this truly breaks my heart. There is a new pain I feel that is so deep it is... Continue Reading →
Today, I had to make a super difficult decision. It is likely I am going to have to let my daughter go live with my abusive ex-husband and his wife. I do not believe this is the best decisions for her, but she will just resent me if she stays, and will likely move in... Continue Reading →
My ex-husband and his wife have managed to turn our daughter against us, especially me. It is hard to say what was the tipping point exactly, but we think it was when she was busted for smoking pot and her father’s promise of an easy life with him. My ex-husband and his wife are in constant... Continue Reading →
It is difficult to deal with a manipulative abusive ex-husband. Co-parenting with my abusive ex-husband has been more than a little difficult. In fact, it has been downright painful at times. Time to make smarter choices when dealing with my teenager. There are times I have felt hopeless, like this is some sort of game... Continue Reading →
This has been a rather challenging week with my daughter. I feel pretty resentful towards her father for his response or lack of response to this situation. They say that resentment is like swallowing poison, but hoping someone else will die. This week: Received some messages that mentioned 'bud and rillos', red flag Daughter posted... Continue Reading →
The most difficult time in my life was when I was living with my ex-husband. He controlled the finances, and I was constantly living on eggshells due to his unpredictable behavior. Today, I no longer have the constant headaches, stomach problems, and depression I experienced daily. Although co-parenting with an abusive ex-husband can be challenging.... Continue Reading →
My daughter has admitted that her father continues to say horrible things about me, and she just tunes him out. However, having seen her self-inflicted cuts on the side of her thigh/hip and it does not appear she has tuned it out. How much emotional scarring has this abusive relationship caused in my daughter after... Continue Reading →
Our daughter is now sixteen years old, and she now has a best friend and to my dismay a boyfriend. Due to the abusive nature of my relationship with my ex-husband I have really to talk to him a little as possible. I have found this is a healthier approach for everyone, especially our daughter. Unfortunately, our daughter had to miss a lot of birthday parties, school field trips, and even Disneyland because they fell on his weekend. Now that she is older, she doesn't want to miss all those weekend activities, and she has started negotiated visiting time with him directly.
My personal journey in healing from the emotional abuse. No communication, distance and time helped us find closure and peace. Today, I am happy to say things have settled down in the past few years. It is my belief things have changed because we moved further away from my ex-husband. Normally a geographical change does... Continue Reading →