First I want to say I was listing to Joyce Meyer (she was a victim of abuse) this morning and her message was simple. It said it was not our circumstances that cause our grief, but our reactions to the circumstances. I absolutely agree. No matter what my ex-husband puts on me I need to learn to not react to him. As a human that is pretty hard but I also know unless something amazing happens he will probably not change. (I need to work on me)
You know I am continuously looking for validation that I am not crazy that the situation is rather insane. It really takes repeated confirmation from reputable people to make me feel that. (abuse – crazy making behavior) Yes the situation is rather crazy but I am reading it as it is, I am not personally crazy, that is my ex-husband’s old tapes playing in my head.
I was speaking with my daughter’s counselor today. I told her about my session with the executive director for campus administrative support today. This was part of my Level One complaint on the principal that she recorded my daughter without notifying or getting written authorization. Today also discussed how the principal asked questions that were misleading and even when my daughter said she did not know, she was asked to ‘guess’ her answer. (Warning sign: feeling like you are the crazy one)
She also said she could completely understand why I would feel the way I do. That she was really shocked that the school would even hire the step-mother knowing there was a personal relationship there. I am certain they do not know the truth. In fact I have been warned that they may be spinning a completely different version with their inside involvement in the school system. All I have on my side is God, the truth, and my huge book of threatening emails I have received over the years. I am also not physically ill today where I was sick all the time when I lived with my ex-husband.
I also stated that my ex-husband’s decision to not be involved in my daughter’s education in no way gives his wife, who is present, the right to act as a parent. That in no way does her presence at the school give her the right to super exceed my parenting rights, especially since I am an active participant in her schooling. That the school using the Power of Attorney to treat his wife as the parent and disregard my concerns is unacceptable.
Don’t get me wrong, even with all his wife does, I am still more grateful she is involved than if she weren’t. She has played a huge role in my child’s life where my ex-husband would not have. I would however it more on the ‘enabling’ side more than helping. She also has her manipulative side as well. With all the discussion of the ‘unchecked’ planner I noticed on Monday a hand written note from her step-mother that said “We love you and miss you pumpkin” and signed her name. I am not naive enough to believe that was wasn’t meant to be a dig because I have seen it before. It is sad that she does what she does but a healthy person wouldn’t be with my ex-husband I truly believe that.
The director I met today said he has a pretty good understanding of what is going on. I hope it is that he can see the school is truly not acting right. That they are really violating school policies to behave this way. It is really disturbing that my daughter saw the teacher change the planner and she even saw it for what it was… lying. It wasn’t a smart move and I have a meeting about that tomorrow with the principal and I assume the teacher. I told my daughter’s counselor I was not going to stay if they were not honest, she said that they probably couldn’t be honest at this point.
So I did inform my ex-husband of the transfer and that it had been approved. That I had also received recommendations from Lawyers, her Pediatrician, and her Counselor. He said he felt he was entitled to know reason and reasons why. I asked him why he felt he felt entitled to know a reason or reasons why?
This was his reply, it is pretty easy to read it for what it is, you can almost visual the sarcasm dripping from his lips if he said this:
“For one reason, I am her father. I hate to burst your bubble but nothing you do can change that. The second reason would be page three of the decree.
I know why you want her transferred, I just wanted you to tell me.”
My response was simple, I stuck to the basic facts:
“I felt it was in her best interest to transfer her because the staff was not following school policies.”
Anyway, on to round whatever level tomorrow.
Resources:
Emotional Abuse – Emotional Abuse is a Type of Domestic Violence
Domestic Abuse Project
Effects of Emotional Abuse – No You Are Not Crazy
Abused Persons Awareness – No One Will Ever Believe You
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Is This Abusive 