I am going to start with today and jump around because I would like to create a balance of positive with the negative effects of verbal abuse.
At this time my greatest challenge is trying to keep my daughter out of being in the middle. My ex constantly is asking her questions about my husband and I. It took me the longest time to figure out what was going on with my daughter. He was very manipulative and would say things… without really saying things. For instance, he wouldn’t say I was a bad mom, he would say “Your mom is going to get mad at you” or “You are going to get in trouble with your mom.” He wasn’t asking her if she wanted to come live with him, he would say “Wouldn’t it be great if you got to live with me all the time.”
This type of manipulation would cause my daughter so much stress she was having symptoms for years. We kept having to go to the doctor and to specialists, they never found any medical reason for her symptoms. Inside I knew he had something to do with it, it was a gut feeling, but you can’t prove emotional abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse is difficult to prove and not against the law.
My daughters symptoms were not so different than how I was about ten years ago. I was getting sick with migraines, stomach problems, and I had chronic anxiety and didn’t even know it. The doctor’s could never find a medical reason why I was feeling the way I did. My symptoms continued to get worse and they would often prescribe pills for depression or IBS. Once I left the relationship I felt so much better almost instantly. Today I feel really good with an occasional anxiety or perhaps some PTSD. I can really feel it come on when I know I have to deal with him.