Choose to Forget or Remember the Past

There is a constant struggle to forget the past because I do not not want to remember the bad times.

Memory Triggers
I still have to deal with my ex-husband and that seems to trigger memories, especially with his constant need to control situations.  Right now there is some weird stuff that is occurring that is triggering those old feelings.   There are not very many good times to remember and believe me I have tried to find some to cling on to.  In truth right now, he is just a tiny blip on the radar, other than his occasional interference he really isn’t a part of my life anymore.   I can focus on today and be so grateful to not be there and the strength that gained in return.  I often feel if I could make it through all that there is truly nothing I can’t endure today.  Although I can’t remember very many good things about him I go through all that hell over again if only to have my daughter here today.

Lessons Learned
I was just listening to a song by Carrie Underwood.  I have listened to this album for years and it was only a month ago the lyrics of this particular song stood out to me.  This song speaks volumes to me and  I wanted to share it.  There is one thing I believe… The pain of my past was not for nothing, there is a purpose, even if it was only for the lessons I learned.

“Lessons Learned”

There’s some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I’ve been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don’t really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There’s mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should’ve taken,
Been some signs I didn’t see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don’t make no difference,
The past can’t be rewritten,
You get the life you’re given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can’t change the past,
Cause it’s gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it’s all,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I’d get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I’m thankful, for every break in my heart,
I’m grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.

Source for Lyrics: www.azlyrics.com