Verbal Abuse Recovery
Gaslighting can slowly make you question your memory, instincts, and even your own sense of reality. In this personal reflection, I look at how repeated denial, blame, and distorted versions of events affected my ability to trust myself, and how documenting what happened became part of finding my way back to my own voice.
Abuse does not always begin with something obvious. Subtle patterns of control, criticism, intimidation, isolation, and manipulation can build slowly over time. This article looks at warning signs that may be easy to dismiss individually, but deserve attention when several begin appearing together.
When I look back through the women in my family, one thing becomes very clear to me: abuse did not suddenly appear in my generation. What changed was our ability to recognize it, name it, talk about it, and eventually do something about it. My grandmother lived in a time when a woman could have... Continue Reading →
Last Thursday, the boyfriend came by to announce his intention to propose. He wasn’t asking for our permission but merely letting us know it was happening on Sunday (yesterday), with only three days’ notice. He said he was worried I or my mom might “spill the beans” because we talk a lot.
Here is a story about verbal abuse from one of our readers: Domestic Violence is a slow dehumanizing experience. I couldn't even see it was happening. I wondered what was wrong with me. I thought it was abuse. I tried to get him to believe it was abuse. However, I should have just trusted my... Continue Reading →
There did seem to be a downhill battle with my daughter after divorcing a narcissist/abusive ex. You can really see the spiral downhill and how we were unable to turn it around in this story. Our daughter has become extremely irrational and unreasonable to converse with. Ugh! I did exactly what I said I shouldn’t... Continue Reading →
Lately, I have noticed I have received less emails from my abusive ex-husband... thankfully. However, more emails have been coming from his wife. Makes me feel he is sending his minion to do his dirty work. This past week, I was out of town traveling for work and I received this email from his wife.... Continue Reading →
Here is a story about verbal abuse from one of our readers: I read this blog and it was like putting a mirror in front of me. I had never seen so clearly before what my ex was like... I split up with my ex about 2 1/2 years ago during the death of my... Continue Reading →
When I read the story about Megan Short's murder, it really struck home for me. This relationship ended tragically with her husband Mark Short shooting his wife, their three kids, their dog, and then shot himself. It was reported that this relationship was a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. Physician violence has not been reported in... Continue Reading →
I have begun writing a book because there must be a reason for this journey. Perhaps my book can help someone understand they are not alone and can help them validate their experience. Maybe a book will help someone avoid a few minutes or learn a few lessons quicker. This book will dig deeper into... Continue Reading →
So today, I was in the car and Johnny Cash song Hurt came on the radio. This song was originally written and sung by Nine Inch Nails. When I was younger, I listened to that album over an over, and I must have heard this song 100 times over the years and never paid too... Continue Reading →
Over the years I found it was helpful to write journal notes and email them to myself, that helped me keep the emails and my thoughts in chronological order. We really do not have any answers or definite explanations for these kind of complaints that occurred during a five year span. My gut instinct is... Continue Reading →
This has been a rather challenging week with my daughter. I feel pretty resentful towards her father for his response or lack of response to this situation. They say that resentment is like swallowing poison, but hoping someone else will die. This week: Received some messages that mentioned 'bud and rillos', red flag Daughter posted... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I found out my daughter has been cutting herself. When I saw her, wounds I just covered my face with my hands and my eyes immediately began to tear up. As quickly as my tears began to flow, I somehow managed to stop and just talk to her. I just wanted to be supportive... Continue Reading →
Hard to believe it was 9 years ago when I made the difficult decision to get divorced from my verbally abusive husband. Although there were so many things wrong with the relationships, it was a very difficult decision to make. My relationship with my ex-husband as very one-sided and I always felt drained with him.... Continue Reading →
Looking through those other journal entries made me hunt for one of my older journals. I found the one I was writing when I met my abusive ex-husband. In reading those words now I can hardly believe I could have ever felt positive things about him. As long as I can remember he has been... Continue Reading →
The myths Society paints about Domestic Abuse truly prevent awareness about emotional & psychological abuse and make it very difficult to spot. Society really paints a picture of Domestic Abuse involving physical abuse or violence. When I talked to a lawyer one time the first question they asked me was, "Has he ever hit you?"... Continue Reading →
One of my biggest concerns is my daughter will grow up and marry an abuser herself. All I can really do is teach her the facts and perhaps inform her of the warning signs. After all there were early warning signs in our relationship, when we were dating, which I missed or chose to ignore. ... Continue Reading →
You can read the first posts I made from March & April 2003 on this page Abusive Experience - Journal Entries 1. I had many sporadic entries throughout the last few years of our marriage. I think I was always worried he would read the journal entries. These journal entries were made after I had figured out he had a problem... Continue Reading →
First, let me begin by saying that I am not discounting physical abuse at all. If someone is physically abusive it highly unlikely they are not emotionally & verbally abusive too. If someone feels it is their right to physically abuse their partner or child they must be manipulative, controlling and use some methods of... Continue Reading →
Signs there is a Marriage Problems There were so many things about my ex-husband I should have caught while we were dating. The saying "Love is Blind," I think I loved him in my dysfunctional way. I was truly willing to overlook things that a normal person would not have. You know something is wrong... Continue Reading →
