Verbal Abuse Recovery
In my previous post Power Over and the Abuser, I wrote about trying to pick my daughter up for the weekend visitation. I had planned on taking her for coffee or sushi and then taking her back home. However, nobody answered the door when I rang the doorbell. On Friday, I had decided to send... Continue Reading →
Okay, right now there is a situation that is outside my control. Although I have no desire to be in control, although with that being said... I really don't like the feeling of being out of control either. This is clearly a Power Over situation for my ex-husband and he has all the control and I... Continue Reading →
My blog posts mainly describe the experiences of a relationship with a verbally abusive man. The reason for this is because that is my personal experience and I can only tell it from that perspective. In no way am I implying that women are not abusive or narcissistic. In fact, I believe that emotional abuse... Continue Reading →
It has been a few weeks since the last time I wrote a post. Lately, I have had a difficult time putting my thoughts together. My emotions are quite overwhelming at this time, too much has happened in the past few months. I guess that is why it is so difficult to write my thoughts.... Continue Reading →
Proving verbal and emotional abuse is very difficult and keeping good records may help if you case ends up in court. If nothing else, it will help protect your sanity if the abuser starts claiming you are the one with the problems. This is very common where the abuser accuses the victim of the abuse.... Continue Reading →
I had always been trying to understand what happened and why I continued to date my ex-husband for all those years. I thought he was so amazing when I met him. It is true that my inner voice was screaming that there was something wrong. He did everything this video describes, blaming me and my... Continue Reading →
My daughter visited me this weekend and things didn't go as I expected they would. Perhaps this was too soon for her to come home to visit. Right now, my daughter sees me as the bad guy and she is especially mad at my husband. Plus, we had to deal with three months of hateful... Continue Reading →
As you know, hindsight is 20/20 and after dealing with an abusive man for more than twenty years there are decisions I wish I could go back and change. Obviously, we are unable to go back and change anything that has happened in the past. Knowing what I know now, I realize some decisions would... Continue Reading →
On some days, I feel very sad and on those days I allow the regrets to plague my thoughts. My regrets are that I choose to marry an abusive man and now our daughter is affected by his psychological abuse. However, since I cannot change the past, it does no good to think of past... Continue Reading →
It is easy to excuse games the Narcissist plays as potential 'oversights', however past behavior really predicts present and future behavior. Time to rise above the games. Time to think 'game over'. So, it has been one week since my daughter left to live with her father. This week has been full of sadness, relief,... Continue Reading →
What became increasingly frustrating about this entire situation with my daughter was that the courts do not consider Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) a real thing. The attorneys said that although they all know it does exist, they are not allowed to talk about it in the courts. She said they will often use code words... Continue Reading →
Today, I feel rather sad and it is difficult to write when I feel sad. Yesterday, I watched my seventeen year old get into the car with my narcissist ex-husband to go live with him. Everything about this truly breaks my heart. There is a new pain I feel that is so deep it is... Continue Reading →
When I read the story about Megan Short's murder, it really struck home for me. This relationship ended tragically with her husband Mark Short shooting his wife, their three kids, their dog, and then shot himself. It was reported that this relationship was a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. Physician violence has not been reported in... Continue Reading →
Today, I had to make a super difficult decision. It is likely I am going to have to let my daughter go live with my abusive ex-husband and his wife. I do not believe this is the best decisions for her, but she will just resent me if she stays, and will likely move in... Continue Reading →
I have begun writing a book because there must be a reason for this journey. Perhaps my book can help someone understand they are not alone and can help them validate their experience. Maybe a book will help someone avoid a few minutes or learn a few lessons quicker. This book will dig deeper into... Continue Reading →
My ex-husband and his wife have managed to turn our daughter against us, especially me. It is hard to say what was the tipping point exactly, but we think it was when she was busted for smoking pot and her father’s promise of an easy life with him. My ex-husband and his wife are in constant... Continue Reading →
So today, I was in the car and Johnny Cash song Hurt came on the radio. This song was originally written and sung by Nine Inch Nails. When I was younger, I listened to that album over an over, and I must have heard this song 100 times over the years and never paid too... Continue Reading →
It is difficult to deal with a manipulative abusive ex-husband. Co-parenting with my abusive ex-husband has been more than a little difficult. In fact, it has been downright painful at times. Time to make smarter choices when dealing with my teenager. There are times I have felt hopeless, like this is some sort of game... Continue Reading →
Over the years I have certainly tried to solve many problems myself and oftentimes I forget to ask for God's help in these matters. I so often forget that He can perform miracles and I sometimes need to remember to get out of the way. Yesterday, I sent in a prayer request to our church.... Continue Reading →
Over the years I found it was helpful to write journal notes and email them to myself, that helped me keep the emails and my thoughts in chronological order. We really do not have any answers or definite explanations for these kind of complaints that occurred during a five year span. My gut instinct is... Continue Reading →
In the end of 2003, my divorce was final and I was living in my own house away from my abusive ex-husband. Unfortunately, because we had a child together my ex-husband was able to continue his abusive behaviors. Now he just uses our daughter as a pawn and I am not sure what his end game... Continue Reading →
Is This Abusive 