Reasons my Daughter Chooses to Cut

self harm rose thornsSo today, I was in the car and Johnny Cash song Hurt came on the radio.  This song was originally written and sung by Nine Inch Nails. When I was younger, I listened to that album over an over, and  I must have heard this song 100 times over the years and never paid too much attention to the lyrics.

Today, when I heard the first few lyrics it made me think of reasons my daughter chooses to cut herself. Songs are interesting in that way, we all hear different things based on our personal experiences. So the verse, “I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel” just makes me think about reasons someone cuts.  It is suppose to be a release to strong emotions.  Some deep emotional pain that could have happened many years ago. The pain could be so deep that my daughter may not even be aware of it.

I do not believe my daughter has cut lately, but from what I understand is this is not something to be taken lightly.  She still needs to dig into whatever emotional pain is driving this need to self-harm. I will certainly help her get all the support she needs and continue researching the topic to gain a better understanding.

There are so many articles about the reasons why people cut themselves. They say that cutting is a temporary release from deep emotional pain.  They also say that the cutting itself can become an addiction. I had not realized how many young girls are cutting today, this is more common than I would have ever thought.

According to Song Facts about this song Hurt, they say “This song is about realizing consequence and regret. It sends a powerful message that we should all proceed through life wisely, because there is nothing worse than being stuck with a label, a pain, a sickness, or a death, that we know beforehand will leave us only wishing things had been different and that we could change the choices we made.”

Johnny Cash certainly dealt with some struggles and addictions.  The movie Walk the Line shows that his brother died when he was younger and there were struggles with his father that happened over many years. So pain can stay with us a long time.  I also know this because of the struggles I had with my father throughout all these years.

It still very much pains me that my daughter is cutting and I really hope her therapist can eventually help her figure what emotional pain is driving this need to self-harm. I will continue to research the reasons why girls cut to continue gaining understanding about this issue. My mother had told me many years ago that one of my younger cousins was cutting herself.  Unfortunately, after speaking with the school counselors and our daughter’s counselor, this is not as uncommon as one might think.

Do you have any thoughts on this topic?

Here is the full lyrics from Google Play:

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar’s chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

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