There are sometimes warning signs that tell you something is wrong, but you are unable to do anything about it. There are also gut instincts that also tell you something is not right and you are unable to find any logical explanation.
There were a lot of strange things going on about 4 years ago with my daughter. I use to write notes to myself as a way of documenting the unexplained events. These kinds of complaints went on for about two years and everything I did from doctor’s visits, contacting my ex-husband and even had to file a report with the Children’s Protection Agency gave no answers. I have omitted my daughter’s name for her protection.
I truly wanted to just prohibit her from going to visit her father, because clearly something was wrong, but the law would be on his side. My attorney had told me unless she admitted something was happening, there was nothing I can do. I also had people telling me that perhaps she enjoyed the attention her complaints brought, although I know at the age of 5 (when it started) there is no way she would complain about something like that without good reason. These really appeared to be symptoms of sexual abuse, and the bizarre things with my daughter sleeping in the same room with her father did nothing to make these concerns go away. In fact, while we were married he slept in the guest room; something I felt was rather bizarre. Then he remarries and doesn’t sleep with his second wife?
Sunday 12/03/2006 – Memo Note to Self
Julie came home from her dad’s house then she and I went to Wal-Mart to buy her a desk. When we got home I told her to take a bath. She was crying and calling for me. She said her vagina hurt. I asked her what it felt like. Did it burn, itch… She said it stung.
I asked her if she had a bath at her father’s house, she said she did on Saturday. I asked her if anyone helped her bathe. She said she did it. So we talked about cleaning and hygiene a little. Then I asked her if their dog slept in her room. She said she slept in the guest-room with her dad.
She is taking a bath now and I am calling her pediatrician again tomorrow.
I have discussed this with her counselor, this has been happening for more than two years and so far I have no explanation or facts of what is going on .
I found that 5/10 of these symptoms have been present in my daughter. Although I would hate for this to have been what was happening, how can a mother possibly ignore the signs?
Symptoms of sexual abuse in children are similar to those of depression or severe anxiety and nervousness. They can include:
- Bowel disorders, such as soiling oneself (encopresis) Yes
- Eating disorders, such as anorexia nervosa
- Genital or rectal symptoms, such as pain during a bowel movement or urination, or vaginal itch or discharge Yes
- Repeated headaches
- Sleep problems Yes
- Stomach aches (vague complaints)
Children who are abused may:
- Display disruptive behaviors such as using alcohol and street drugs or engaging in high-risk sexual behaviors
- Do poorly in school Yes
- Have excessive fears Yes
- Withdraw from normal activities