Okay, so last night my dream included my manipulative abusive Ex-boss. It is very irritating to end relationships with people only to have them visit you in your dreams. In my dream I remember being upset and my boss was there. Also there was some other guy playing football (I don’t watch football?) and was in trouble with my boss for not running into field that belonged to the federal government and was restricted. In my dream I had cancer and I think was recovering from it. Anyway, the dream makes little sense to me with the football, restricted land and my having cancer.
Dreams are a weird thing. For me to dream about my boss when I am not thinking about him during the day seems like I still have unresolved issues with that relationship. Sometimes I can think to a TV show or a movie that reminded me of my ex-husband or ex-boss and it makes more sense why I dreamed about them.
Maybe I can change my dreams by taking a defense class or archery or something equally empowering. I know you have the ability to change your dreams based on what you think about during the day. You know maybe I do spend too much time thinking about them. That is part of my desire to make something irrational into something rational. I guess I really do not like fact that both of those relationships ended as if I did something wrong. Perhaps I did, because I picked those relationships.
One major thing that is consistent with my ex-husband and ex-boss is both of the relationships ended with drama. With my ex-husband the drama goes on with the BS he use to pull with me and still pulls with my daughter. With my ex-boss when I resigned he was very mean and angry at me.
After working in a place for 3 years and being administrator of everything there was a few months I had to tie up loose ends. I would let my ex-boss know that I still had access to whatever and he would never respond but would eventually remove my access. Or when I would receive a call or email from someone I would give them my ex-boss phone number or forward the email to him. I consistently stayed polite in what I did.
I think I still feel a little pissed about that whole job ending experience. First of all I worked for these people for 3 years and did a lot. Now I cannot even ask them for a reference. Currently I am just working for myself and I did not need to list him as a reference. I guess that is sometimes how I feel about my ex-husband. You know like you just wasted years with them in that relationship.
Also, for my ex-husband or ex-boss to be pissed at me makes no sense. If they had been doing the right thing I would not have made the decision to leave my marriage or my job. They really should be pissed at themselves. I guess that is there way of ‘punishing’ you for your decision.
That is it, I wrote about it, and now I can free it from my mind. I know it is unrealistic to believe I will never encounter another abusive person in my life. They are all over the place. It has certainly made me more cautious to what type of work environment I am willing to work for.
After having my relationship with my ex-husband not work out I was very cautious before getting into another relationship. Perhaps that is how I wound up marring a good man. I was so afraid of making the same mistake again. It isn’t like abusive men show their true colors the moment you meet. They can hide their behavior for a while and you have to carefully watch for those red flags slips. They do not show their real selves until they feel they really ‘got you’.