Abusive Games: Still Feeling Controlled

On so many levels, it seems like my ex is still controlling me. It shouldn’t feel this way, but it does. Our daughter is nearly twenty years old and still cannot come visit me. In order for me to see my daughter, I always have to go see her. Her father has a rule that she cannot come to the city where I live. My daughter says, “It has nothing to do with you.” My thoughts are, if it had nothing to do with me he would say you could only see your mom.

Realizing all the insane stuff he has done over the years doesn’t exactly afford him the benefit of the doubt. Sadly, he is just not a nice person and he always has motives for everything he does. I have faith that my daughter will see the truth one day. It may take her a while. God knows it took me a while to see through his BS.

So, in previous articles, I described how my ex-husband decided to pull my daughter’s baby teeth against our dentist recommendation. So she is now 19 years old and has place holders in her mouth. She has to have additional bone graphs before she can get her implants. She doesn’t understand that those implants will not last forever and will eventually need to be replaced. My ex-husband probably did this to cost me money, but it took longer than he expected and now he has to spend more than he expected to complete this procedure. 

The dentist told her that the implants could last forever. I find that hard to believe because the technology hasn’t been around long enough to make that statement. Hopefully it will all work out. The other thing is my daughter will now have to get bone graphs before she can get the implants. My mother said that the procedure is very painful and that she was not going to like it one bit.

Anyway, I thought about some of the crazy things my ex did or threatened to try to cost me money. Right after our divorce, I had received a pay out for the equity in our house. He threatened to take me to court to make me spend that money. He threatened to put braces on our daughter’s teeth, just to cost me money, but not because it was the right time or right thing to do. We put braces on our daughter when I felt she was ready to care for them. 

He plays games, still. So, her not being able to come to my city frustrates me. She does not have the strength to stand up to him. Additionally, she still wants to believe his intentions are good. She also may want to believe he does this out of “love” for her. Recently, I had surgery and she wasn’t allowed to come see me in the hospital because it was too dangerous… according to my ex. Nobody believes he has the best intentions by controlling a young adult in this manner.