PTSD & Panic Attacks – Abuse Side Effects

One thing I have struggled with ongoing is PTSD & Panic/Anxiety attacks.  These symptoms were really bad when I was still married to the abuser, but I didn’t know I was having symptoms at the time. Even after I left the abuser and the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) got really bad it still took me a while to figure out what I was going through.

When I first left my abuser I remember feeling extremely unsafe.  I kept all my blinds closed, my garage closed and always kept my doors locked.  The feelings came at went, ranging from feeling pretty okay to feeling like I was losing my mind.  Of course, my abusive ex-husband had told me plenty of times, in one way or another, that I was crazy.  So when you symptoms and out of control like this it kind of makes you feel crazy too.

I had to remind myself that the situation was pretty crazy and I think my reaction was pretty normal to an abnormal situation.  I still have these feelings that hit me that are triggered by my ex-husband or a stressful situation that triggers memories.

When these PTSD/Anxiety/Panic attack feelings come, I have to remind myself to breathe, relax and remind myself I am safe and okay.  My doctor thinks I may have to always manage these feelings for the rest of my life.  They are not as constant or powerful as they were so many years ago.  I guess that is a sign of improvement.

Writing in this blog really helps because it gives me the ability to release these emotions rather than internalize them.  Occasionally I receive a email or comment from a reader, who says they can identify with my experience or symptoms and that helps me know I am not alone.

I have to remember that I have spent a great number of years of my life under extreme amounts of stress.  At times I think that use to feel pretty normal.  Today, I do not like being stressed and I know I can often create my own stress.  The good new is, now I recognize unhealthy situations and choose to remove myself from them rather than endure them.

Life is simply too short to remain in unhealthy, toxic and abusive relationships.


One thought on “PTSD & Panic Attacks – Abuse Side Effects

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  1. Thank you for sharing your truth. I have had paid attacks, jaw clenching and all kinds of physical ailments while being married. I never could figure how to name it. It killed my sense of self. Your right the scars cut so deep and are taking me on a journey that has opened my eyes to my truth. I have finally left but lost full support of my family which saddens me because nobody wants to see the truth.


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