Verbal Abuse Recovery
It really makes me sad that her father does the things he does. It is so unhealthy and confusing. Especially all the blaming he does and how he doesn't ever take ownership for his part in fights. He has never taken ownership of anything over the past 25 years I have known him.
Last week, I stopped by to visit a friend who used to live down the street from my old house. She said that my daughter has been hanging out with her daughter. My friend was conflicted about discussing this information with me, but she felt as a mother, I should know. Apparently, something happened between... Continue Reading →
So, it has been nearly two years since my daughter left our house to go live with her father. Looking back, I have definitely made progress. There have been a few changes. One, my daughter is no longer so angry as she was when she initially left. Also, the fact that time has a way... Continue Reading →
Since 2010, I have been writing in this blog and posting experiences. Oftentimes I forget how dysfunctional these experiences were at the time. Time has a away of softening things and making you remember the story in a less crazy light. My post Accepting the Painful Reality was one of the ones that really stuck... Continue Reading →
I have not been as diligent about writing my thoughts lately. On some days, it is still a struggle. I miss my daughter terribly and really hurts my heart how things ended up. It seems that it is not uncommon for children to make a decision to move in with the other parent. In this... Continue Reading →
There did seem to be a downhill battle with my daughter after divorcing a narcissist/abusive ex. You can really see the spiral downhill and how we were unable to turn it around in this story. Our daughter has become extremely irrational and unreasonable to converse with. Ugh! I did exactly what I said I shouldn’t... Continue Reading →
Lately, I have noticed I have received less emails from my abusive ex-husband... thankfully. However, more emails have been coming from his wife. Makes me feel he is sending his minion to do his dirty work. This past week, I was out of town traveling for work and I received this email from his wife.... Continue Reading →
A few weeks ago, I found an old email from 2012. This was written at a time when I was working for an emotionally abusive boss and in a very unhealthy workplace. I wrote about this experience in my blog post Working with an Emotionally Abusive Boss. Working for an abusive boss or in an... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I posted an email string between my ex-husband, his wife, and myself. The last email I received was a personal attack by my ex-husband. Although I did not respond to his email, his comments have been ringing in my head for the past 24 hours. Obviously, this is the narcissist's goal, keeping you off-balanced...... Continue Reading →
So, last month I received a $2,000 bill from my abusive ex-husbands wife. This bill was sent the day after my daughter had dental surgery and had 6 teeth pulled. They are supposed to notify me of any non-emergency surgeries before the event and not after the event. In email, she implies that their attorney was... Continue Reading →
So, last week I called the Domestic Abuse Counseling Center to see about meeting with them again. During the past few months I felt like I was regressing again. One of my dear friends pointed out the we are nearing the anniversary when all this hell with my daughter started. Nearly one year ago, in... Continue Reading →
My mother was visiting this week and things just weren't the same without my daughter. Normally, my daughter would be here and happily participating in all activities. This year, my mother and I had three short visits with her instead. My daughter has stated that she does not want to see my husband or his... Continue Reading →
The other day, I realized something really significant about this entire situation with my ex-husband and daughter. The time I spent with my ex-husband was really not very good. There are not many good memories to dwell on about him. In fact, most of the time things were pretty bad, sometimes okay, but never really... Continue Reading →
In my previous post Power Over and the Abuser, I wrote about trying to pick my daughter up for the weekend visitation. I had planned on taking her for coffee or sushi and then taking her back home. However, nobody answered the door when I rang the doorbell. On Friday, I had decided to send... Continue Reading →
Okay, right now there is a situation that is outside my control. Although I have no desire to be in control, although with that being said... I really don't like the feeling of being out of control either. This is clearly a Power Over situation for my ex-husband and he has all the control and I... Continue Reading →
My blog posts mainly describe the experiences of a relationship with a verbally abusive man. The reason for this is because that is my personal experience and I can only tell it from that perspective. In no way am I implying that women are not abusive or narcissistic. In fact, I believe that emotional abuse... Continue Reading →
This week, I feel like I am all over the place with my emotions. My mind is going through the past again as this situation with my daughter and ex-husband has made all those memories resurface. Although, it is a little better than before, I used to feel pretty hopeless at times. Not suicidal, but... Continue Reading →
The most difficult time in my life was when I was living with my ex-husband. He controlled the finances, and I was constantly living on eggshells due to his unpredictable behavior. Today, I no longer have the constant headaches, stomach problems, and depression I experienced daily. Although co-parenting with an abusive ex-husband can be challenging.... Continue Reading →
My daughter has admitted that her father continues to say horrible things about me, and she just tunes him out. However, having seen her self-inflicted cuts on the side of her thigh/hip and it does not appear she has tuned it out. How much emotional scarring has this abusive relationship caused in my daughter after... Continue Reading →
Our daughter is now sixteen years old, and she now has a best friend and to my dismay a boyfriend. Due to the abusive nature of my relationship with my ex-husband I have really to talk to him a little as possible. I have found this is a healthier approach for everyone, especially our daughter. Unfortunately, our daughter had to miss a lot of birthday parties, school field trips, and even Disneyland because they fell on his weekend. Now that she is older, she doesn't want to miss all those weekend activities, and she has started negotiated visiting time with him directly.
I must admit there are times I absolute hate my ex-husband! Times when my daughter acts entitled and as if the rules just not apply to her. It has always been a challenge parenting with such an uncooperative ex-husband. I am fully aware that children will play both parents even if the parents are not... Continue Reading →
