Verbal Abuse Recovery
So, I met with my daughter on Friday for my birthday. Our conversation was good and she did discuss her plans on moving out next year, but did not discuss the reasons why. Since I do have a bit of information, I was able to ask her questions about her plans. I asked if she... Continue Reading →
Last week, I stopped by to visit a friend who used to live down the street from my old house. She said that my daughter has been hanging out with her daughter. My friend was conflicted about discussing this information with me, but she felt as a mother, I should know. Apparently, something happened between... Continue Reading →
There did seem to be a downhill battle with my daughter after divorcing a narcissist/abusive ex. You can really see the spiral downhill and how we were unable to turn it around in this story. Our daughter has become extremely irrational and unreasonable to converse with. Ugh! I did exactly what I said I shouldn’t... Continue Reading →
One of the biggest lessons I learned throughout this entire experience is it is impossible to co-parent with a narcissist or abusive person. Whether you Ex is a woman or man, if they are a narcissist, there is no such thing as cooperation. It frustrates me that he gets as much attention as he does.... Continue Reading →
Yesterday, I posted an email string between my ex-husband, his wife, and myself. The last email I received was a personal attack by my ex-husband. Although I did not respond to his email, his comments have been ringing in my head for the past 24 hours. Obviously, this is the narcissist's goal, keeping you off-balanced...... Continue Reading →
So, last month I received a $2,000 bill from my abusive ex-husbands wife. This bill was sent the day after my daughter had dental surgery and had 6 teeth pulled. They are supposed to notify me of any non-emergency surgeries before the event and not after the event. In email, she implies that their attorney was... Continue Reading →
The other day, I realized something really significant about this entire situation with my ex-husband and daughter. The time I spent with my ex-husband was really not very good. There are not many good memories to dwell on about him. In fact, most of the time things were pretty bad, sometimes okay, but never really... Continue Reading →
This made up narrative by my abusive ex-husband on how I was the problem just upsets me. Today, we are boxing up books for a room remodel and just listen to these titles of books collected over the years: Why Does He Do That Toxic Parents Abuse No More Joint Custody with a Jerk Your... Continue Reading →
During the holidays is when I realize that this is a sad time and perhaps I feel a little blue. Navigating through the effects of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is not easy and there doesn't seem to be a right answer other than prayers and time. Today, I read about a new term called Hostile Aggressive... Continue Reading →
In my previous post Power Over and the Abuser, I wrote about trying to pick my daughter up for the weekend visitation. I had planned on taking her for coffee or sushi and then taking her back home. However, nobody answered the door when I rang the doorbell. On Friday, I had decided to send... Continue Reading →
As you know, hindsight is 20/20 and after dealing with an abusive man for more than twenty years there are decisions I wish I could go back and change. Obviously, we are unable to go back and change anything that has happened in the past. Knowing what I know now, I realize some decisions would... Continue Reading →
Today, I had to make a super difficult decision. It is likely I am going to have to let my daughter go live with my abusive ex-husband and his wife. I do not believe this is the best decisions for her, but she will just resent me if she stays, and will likely move in... Continue Reading →
It is difficult to deal with a manipulative abusive ex-husband. Co-parenting with my abusive ex-husband has been more than a little difficult. In fact, it has been downright painful at times. Time to make smarter choices when dealing with my teenager. There are times I have felt hopeless, like this is some sort of game... Continue Reading →
Over the years I found it was helpful to write journal notes and email them to myself, that helped me keep the emails and my thoughts in chronological order. We really do not have any answers or definite explanations for these kind of complaints that occurred during a five year span. My gut instinct is... Continue Reading →
This week, I feel like I am all over the place with my emotions. My mind is going through the past again as this situation with my daughter and ex-husband has made all those memories resurface. Although, it is a little better than before, I used to feel pretty hopeless at times. Not suicidal, but... Continue Reading →
The most difficult time in my life was when I was living with my ex-husband. He controlled the finances, and I was constantly living on eggshells due to his unpredictable behavior. Today, I no longer have the constant headaches, stomach problems, and depression I experienced daily. Although co-parenting with an abusive ex-husband can be challenging.... Continue Reading →
My daughter has admitted that her father continues to say horrible things about me, and she just tunes him out. However, having seen her self-inflicted cuts on the side of her thigh/hip and it does not appear she has tuned it out. How much emotional scarring has this abusive relationship caused in my daughter after... Continue Reading →
Our daughter is now sixteen years old, and she now has a best friend and to my dismay a boyfriend. Due to the abusive nature of my relationship with my ex-husband I have really to talk to him a little as possible. I have found this is a healthier approach for everyone, especially our daughter. Unfortunately, our daughter had to miss a lot of birthday parties, school field trips, and even Disneyland because they fell on his weekend. Now that she is older, she doesn't want to miss all those weekend activities, and she has started negotiated visiting time with him directly.
I must admit there are times I absolute hate my ex-husband! Times when my daughter acts entitled and as if the rules just not apply to her. It has always been a challenge parenting with such an uncooperative ex-husband. I am fully aware that children will play both parents even if the parents are not... Continue Reading →
Dealing with my abusive ex-husband sometimes makes me feel completely crazy. The stuff he does is quite simply not rational and that it affects our daughter is most frustrating. Now, this is really a simple situation that because dramatic and I allowed myself to be sucked into this drama-laced issue that I have no control... Continue Reading →
I think one of the greatest issues I have had to overcome is healing from all the invisible wounds. The scars left from the verbal and emotional abuse seem like they often ran deep into my core. My first emotional abuser was not my ex-husband, he was my father. So this is where the... Continue Reading →
Is This Abusive 