One thing to keep in mind is the Abusive Boss does not stop being abusive after you are no longer available to him. They continue to abuse other people around them. Most abusers seem to be pretty careful to not do anything that will get them caught. They seem to be careful to avoid any lines that could impact them legally. If someone who is abusive has that much control then they know what they are doing. I am going to give these people some fake names so I don’t have to say her or him all the time.
I spoke to Susan, an old co-worker, the other day and she said it was still terrible to work there and they are all jealous I am gone. She said Janet, his personal assistant, who is only 25 years old now has a bleeding ulcer. Apparently Janet’s doctor scheduled a colonoscopy for her and Jack, my old abusive boss, was angry at her for having to take time off for this. When I was there I remember seeing Janet crying because Jack just tore her apart in a ‘performance review’ meeting. It seems like ‘performance review’ for an abusive boss is a fancy word for then to have a ‘reason’ to put you down.
Susan also said she wanted to report him but was afraid to speak up. She said she saw him do this to Mary last year, Dave last year, Donna last summer, Me and now to Janet this year. She was afraid if she reported him there would be retaliation. She said she didn’t have enough cushion to leave the job and was still trying to get another job.
Apparently they were in a meeting a few months ago and Jennifer asked Jack directly where I was. Apparently she made direct eye contact with Jack and he just looked down as if he didn’t see her and said nothing. So, Jennifer said, “Did I say something I wasn’t suppose to?” Andrea said everyone was really quite and the entire situation was really awkward. So Andrea said, “She left a few months ago and is happy and doing great.”
Anyway, I guess my thoughts are this. First of all it is really sad it takes other people coming forward to validate I was in a abusive situation and not imagining things. Second the Abuser did not change his spots and is not nice to everyone but me. There are many abusive men who use the workplace as an excuse to use their employees as a punching bag.
Resources:
Is This Abusive 
The instances of blatant abuse are a lot easier to deal with than the subtle. Someone being dismissive of you, not giving you their full attention (because they arent listening to you), not reading important communications from you because in spite of the fact that they flatter you to your face, they in reality think very little of you and the work that you do. They dont take your concerns seriously (because they think you dont know what youre talking about) and this causes very negative repercussions that could have been avoided. This happened (is happening) to me and now MY GOOD NAME is tarnished because of it
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It’s not just men who do this. Women do this too. I am currently trying to get a different job because it’s an unfortunate luxury for me to quit without something else lined up. I am blamed for things I did not do but either have zero proof that it was me or have to spend an hour backtracking to find out why I did something that was requested of me. I am paranoid about stapling documents together because if they are not perfectly lined up then I get yelled at. I’ve been called a nightmare. The new thing is giving me exact times that each task should take me. If I take any longer than that I am told that it souks have taken x amount of time and questioned why it took me so long. I’m now paranoid of how long i take so while clients are supposed to be billed for my time i don’t want to put my time down. I would quit if i could but I have a family to support
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Sorry to hear about your experience at work. You are correct, this is not a gender specific issue. In fact, here is an article, Why Women Are The Worst Kind of Bullies, that discusses just what you wrote about.
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